Well I got a scarf from a drunk man yesterday and that was pretty much the highlight of my week... hehe jk But you know those weeks when everything you were excited about last week and then some came crashing down on top of you? Ya. that happened. But it's all good because we know exactly where it is coming from. Dang Satan. But he can't get us down. Because we can't stop and we won't stop... hehe yes. keep singing.
I have actually been thinking a lot about that lately. You know the song that goes 'We are all enlisted til the conflict is o'er. Happy are we. Happy are we?' love that one. We knew very well that this little come down to the earth and learn and grow thing was going to be a conflict. It was going to be hard and we were going to be tested and as strange as it may sound.. we were happy about it. We chose to do it. We signed up for all the trials and tough times that we were going to experience. We wanted to come here and experience it. In fact we shouted for joy to come hop on the get your body bandwagon. We were happy about the conflict because we already knew who was going to win and although sometimes it feels like Satan is dang good at his job all we have to do is join God's team. We have been teaching Christian the Plan of Salvation and we have to go reallllly slow through every single step because of language barriers and no religious background and it has forced me to keep an eternal perspective all week long. Thinking about how this really is just a small moment in this whole big plan of Heavenly Father's. Good stuff. Really helped me out actually.
But as you know sometimes we still know all that stuff. All that truth. And STILL get down on ourselves. I can only imagine how frustrated Heavenly Father must be with me.. 'like can't you just look out and see all the blessings I have given you? like last week. that was just last week. try to remember them. it's going to be okay. stop freaking out' But I still have my natural man freak outs... and that's what I was havingSunday when I reflected on the week and just thought about how we must have saw too many black cats crossing the road because we really took a piece of bad luck and I am just praying my heart in the two minutes of peace a missionary gets at church during the sacrament. I don't think I have ever felt the power of the sacrament more fully. Normally I attempt to read my scriptures or pray or something to make that a spiritual experience but often times it just turns into a eat this piece of bread and my mind starts to wander about all the 50 billion things I have to do after this. But this time I really prayed. With my entire heart. Almost to the point where I was crying in the middle of Sacrament meeting. Just telling him how I was feeling and thinking about how Christ felt every little piece of discouragement that I was feeling in that moment. And asking him to enable me to be able to stay happy and continue to work hard. And it was like a night and day experience. I don't even know how to describe it. I have never felt a literal load taken from my shoulders like that before. I really thought about that scripture take my yoke upon you. Have I really ever done that before? Have I allowed Christ to help me? Probably not. But let me tell you:
God is real. Christ is real. And they are a whole heck of a lot more powerful than Satan.
Happy am I.
xoxoxo
s. heywood
