Last night we met these two return missionaries coming here to visit and going to the temple and seriously it was just so great. One of them had only been home for like two days and she totally had the RM glow and just lit up the whole time she talked about the people and such. Ah. I could just feel how much she loved those people. Her companions. The members. Everybody. like a deep love. I want to have that. Where my love is just pouring out of me without even trying. She is now like my inspiration. Every story she told or tip she gave me? ah. learned so much. Someday I will get to that point...
I am so glad God magnifies our calling. I have seen it time and time again and witnessed that the things I do as a missionary are not me. I can't take even the tiniest bit of credit for it. This journey that people make is just such a blessing to be a part of. Gah. How am I so lucky? Okay I will try to stop being so sister missionary cheeseballish. But really. I really am just so grateful to be a missionary.
So many changes have taken place in Jennifer's life this week. To think where she was a week ago to where she is now? Holy Cow. We taught her about the Book of Mormon and Joseph Smith. And then at the end we asked her if when she knew this was true if she would enter into a covenant with the Lord and be baptized. Her reaction? 'I already know it is true' And just started to plan out all of the times we needed to come over so that she could do 'whatever it takes' to make this chnage in her life. Kind of threw me for a curve ball but we are so excited. She is just so prepared it is incredible. I am just learning more and more about her background and how excited she is to have this new life. Start this new chapter and be completely and totally new. I really just feel like I am their just to listen as she teaches herself. The next lesson as we taught her about God's plan and how God loves us so much and wants us to be happy. How important the family is and our bodies and such. And all on her own she tells us later that she just felt like she needed to break up with her boyfriend. That he wasn't approving of the way she lived and her life with God and she wanted to put God first and no matter how hard it was going to be it would be worth it. Ah I am just so happy. I am telling you, she is so golden.
As I have mentioned like 46483647484 times I have been thinking and focusing on empathy this month and this week was the first time I could REALLY recognize Heavenly Father giving me specific experiences to develop that and then enabling me and magnifying my calling to be able to live right in the moment with them. To feel what they feel. To think what they think. To love what they love. And then to use the words and feelings of the spirit to help them through these times.
We were teaching one of our friends, Serge. And it actually turned out to be a phone lesson (add that to the list of things you never thought you would do as a missionary? yep.) And we totally were thinking to teach the Restoration. But due to time issues we ended up sharing this scripture about God lifting our burdens. Silence. And then he begins to open up to us about all of these hardships he has been through, about his dad dying and feeling weighed down by his sins and such and how he has a hard time believing in God during times like that. And I really just wanted to spit every lesson at him at that moment. Because I knew they would all help him. Why does God let bad things happen? We have the answer. Why do I have to suffer? We have the answer. Will I see my Dad again? We have the answer. How can I be relieved from sin? We have the answer. How do I know if God is really there? We have the answer. Bu instead we just listened. And I literally started to feel God's love for him. Probably only a tiny tiny glimpse of it but it was there nontheless. I could feel my empathy growing by the second. Like I was living these hardships right there over the phone in my wiesbaden apartment. slippered feet proped up on the desk and everytihng. I have never had my dad die.. or had my family leave me in the dust and yet I could feel exactly how he was feeling. Not because I had been through it but because Christ had and I could feel that. It was so crazy.
And at the end we just asked him if he thought God loved him. 'I hope so.' Would you want to find and feel that love? 'Absolutely.' And we just testified. I know that God loves you. And knows exactly what you have been though. I know that He does not want us to suffer. He sent his son Jesus Christ so that we don't have to suffer. I know that you can rebuild that relationship with your Heavenly Father. All you have to do is pray to him and have that desire to know if he is there and you can feel that love again. Again, silence. And you could hear him getting a little choked up as he thanked us and thanked God for what he was feeling. Oh man I could just feel my love growing deeper and deeper. I just think about how much Heavenly Father was a part of that experience. Literally nothing that I or Sister Hadfield said came from us.
Experiences like that kept happening where I could feel Heavenly Father enabling me to say and do his work. I really did feel like I was a tool in his hands. I am so scared for the day when I am released and that power and authority is gone and I can't testify in the way I want to. But until that day I will just continue to express my grattitude to Heavenly Father and how he is helping me to accomplish that things he needs me to.
Rejoice in his work.
xoxoxoxo
s. heywood
You see me rollin'.
drinking from the oh so famous fountain of youth over here. basically just imagine liquified rotten eggs.....yeah....
rockin those sister mish shoes.
yes. We live in the prettiest place in the world. It's casual.
hey. hey. hey. hey.
the power went out this week. talk about an adventure... But hey we learned a lot of new German vocab words trying to explain that to someone over the phone and inherited some warm milk and canned hot dogs from our oh so dear members. yum.
3 cheers for sister heywood' ping pong skills. It's okay though. Yang shui promised to teach me someday.
Pre temple missionary sleepover. And yes that is sister Johnson. Sleeping in between my two best friends. Eep. I'm the luckiest.
and just for a little preview... This was the temple last night. The temple is closing for renovation purposes for the next two years and I haven't been through once my entire mission and so thanks to sister Johnson hook ups she got us special permission to come! Ah. Words can't even express how pumped I am. Only 2.2 more hours until we can go inside for the first time in over a year. Eep. Eep. Eep.
