I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers. Seriously I am having way too much fun going out of my way to crunch the extra crunchy leaves all around me. I just feel ready to tackle the world. Hehe 
although I am kind of sad that September is over because that means our miracle fast has come to an end. Seriously so bummed about that. That has to be the best idea we have had yet. So many miracles came from that! I could tell you about so many of them but I remember Sis Hadfield pointing out on one particular hard day that it was a miracle in itself that we were able to get up out of our misery and keep working and attributed that to the help of the members fasting for us. And the fact that our member relationships were sky rocketing by calling them everyday. it's so true. I feel like that is the best miracle or all. I can feel the power of yalls prayers and fasts for us too. Thank you. Along
You know how sometimes you have those experiences where you just feel so grateful to be a part of? Pretty much happens to me on the daily but one in particular happened this week. Well sister lorredo had sold all of her belongings and moved to America about a month ago and then things went wrong there apparently and shows up back here with absolutely nothing except herself and her suitcase. No food. No house. No bed. Nothing. But our relief society president got her all set up with temporary living quarters for 3 weeks and then she had been borrowing our bed and laundry machine and we had been making her meals and such. All the while I have been so impressed with her attitude. Really. She is incredible. well this week we got her all moved into her new house and everything but... The trial wasn't over. And things seemed to be getting tougher for her and so she asked the elders for a blessing. And so there we are with all of her belongings stuffed in trash bags. Not even a chair for her to sit on and so she just sits on her giant suitcase in the middle of the empty paint chipped room, tears streaming down her face as two 18 year old boys express the love Heavenly Father has for her in a language not their own. Oh it was such a sweet special moment. I just felt so grateful to be a part of it. I know everything will work out for her. She is one of the strongest people.
Eep. Wasn't conference just incredible? Ah I'm just so so so happy to be a member of this church and hear from such amazing people. I learned so so so so so many things. Like how I need to practice my bingo skills because I somehow got creamed by a ten year old at conference bingo and also how I need to get more sleep as a missionary so I don't have to stand up every 5 minutes to keep from taking an afternoon nap and how much I love pigs in a blanket. Hehe jk
Honestly I really don't even know where to begin to tell you about the things I have learned. Seriously so much. I love this gospel. That was like the moral of every comp study sister Litster and I had this week. We would just learn some seemingly monumental thing in the simpleness of this gospel and think: I love this gospel. I love being a missionary. How did I not know all of this before? Hehe but I think almost everything I learned and continue to learn goes back to self improvement. I went into the conference with the question of: how can I truly make repentance a joyful experience? And it was answered within the first 10 minutes haha but continued to sink in over and over again all conference long. To sums up the answer it is something like this: The whole purpose of this life is to experience joy which we experience as we learn and to grow. We can only learn and grow when we are making progress. Changing. Repenting. Woah.
We are not to feel down on ourselves all the time. we are not to be lazy and at a stand still because we are too stubborn and don't want to recognize our flaws but rather recognize them so that we open that doors to finding true joy. Sometimes I picture repentance as something dark and gloomy where we are just wallowing in our self pity thinking of all of the terrible mistakes we have made. And then I kinda lose my motivation and desire to repent. Why not just ignore all the things I do wrong and focus on the things I do right? Then I am happy right? No. That is only the temporary happiness because I won't be making progress. No wonder members of the church of Jesus Christ are so happy... Aka: glow. ("What are we going to do about the light in their eyes?" Free German chocolate for the first person to name that talk. ) I had two people we were teaching this week comment on the oh so famous "Mormon glow" eep. So maybe my wish will come true and I will be glowing my way down the airport escalator when I see yall again. Hehe jk but seriously the light of Christ is such a real thing. And the joy we feel is such a real thing. And people searching for that is such a real thing. And the fact that we can improve and become better is the HOW to of gaining that kind of joy. It just clicked with me so much for some reason. The ultimate goal: a healthy longing to improve balanced with the knowledge that we WILL make it with Jesus Christ. But that doesn't mean we don't get a trial free card or an always be happy and chipper never have a rough day card. Feelings of inadequacy is something we all feel even an apostle of God. That was such a comforting thing to me. We will still have that which just leads us back to the cycle. The happy pleasant wonderful cycle of change and improvement. Happily skipping along the path back to our Heavenly Father
Repenting joyfully all the way.
Love ya buckets.
Xoxoxo
s. Heywood
ps: totally wanna hear ya'lls conference thoughts. Please.
