WE ARE HAVING A BABY! WOOOHOOOOO!
Oh man. It is so surreal to me that there is actually a real, living, breathing, heart beating, human in me. Wow. Life is crazy.
When Dan and I first discussed the kid chapter of our life it was still pretty far away. We wanted a few years to be with each other and travel the world, start a business together etc. I couldn't see how kids worked with all of that. It seemed like a burden that you save for age 30 or something. Sure kids are cute as a button but the timing comes after you have finished everything else. Right?
As we sat down to make our 2018 goals, they were full of bucket list items- go skydiving, live in Europe, become yoga certified in India, buy our first real estate property, move to North Carolina. Yes. When we dream, we dream. Not even two weeks later we were in the temple together. After we came out Dan said he had something to tell me and immediately I knew what it was. I had been feeling like the timing for a baby was much earlier than we had anticipated and had been studying it out for the last semester but in my head, it didn't make sense. I kept thinking of baby names the whole time in the temple but I couldn't figure out where the baby hunger was coming from. I still had to finish school, accomplish my dreams, work a few years and get it all out of my system before my life just ended.
To me, that is what kids equated. Now, I was to spend the rest of my life cooking and cleaning and stuck at home all day bored out of my mind. But as we discussed and prayed about it I felt the assurance to just trust.
Two months later we found out I was pregnant. (God works quick huh?)
I have been amazed at how Heavenly Father changes our desires when we are willing. Before we even found out I was pregnant, I was already SO excited about bringing little baby Ockey into this world. I wanted our little family to grow more than anything else. I feel the greatest responsibility but also the greatest honor that Heavenly Father trusts little ol' me to raise this noble spirit. I have never felt so much joy and purpose and he/she isn't even here yet!
A Christian blogger mentioned this about children:
"“[Growing] up in this culture, it is very hard to get a biblical perspective on motherhood. … Children rank way below college. Below world travel for sure. Below the ability to go out at night at your leisure. Below honing your body at the gym. Below any job, you may have or hope to get.” She then adds: “Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for."
I think a common misconception with kids is that life. is. over. (Obviously, that is the way it was with me) but really I feel like life is just beginning! Around this same time when I was feeling like my life was going to end when I was pregnant or having kids, I watched The Greatest Showman (Which if you haven't seen it, I give you permission to go watch it right now 'cause I am about to give away the storyline) In the movie the family is so involved in the Dad's business. They hand out flyers, they spend time together. They don't have money and the mom gets to play cops and robbers through loads of laundry. They go through hard times and at one point even lose each other but ultimately realize family means more than all of that. It was such a good reminder for me.
The family is the greatest joy. I had forgotten this truth. Sometimes in this effort to be "real" I think we talk about all the negativity and hard parts of motherhood. This was a reminder to me that this IS what I want to do. This IS the type of family I want to create. And all of a sudden the timing of everything seemed to actually be perfect.
The family is the greatest joy. I had forgotten this truth. Sometimes in this effort to be "real" I think we talk about all the negativity and hard parts of motherhood. This was a reminder to me that this IS what I want to do. This IS the type of family I want to create. And all of a sudden the timing of everything seemed to actually be perfect.
Motherhood is so much bigger than cooking and cleaning. It is about adventuring. Treehouse building. Reading together. Learning together. Creating meaningful friendships. Bike Rides. Deep Talks. Completing the whole bucket list together. Praying together. Leading them to Christ. Creating dreamers and remembering what this is all for. The picture is so much bigger.
I feel so overwhelmingly blessed and assured that this is what we were created to do.
Happy Mother's Day!
ps: If you want a sneak peek at how cute of a dad Dan is going to be.. see the picture below. Gosh, I am so dang lucky. Also, props to Liz on the cute baby pictured that we just couldn't get enough of.
ps: If you want a sneak peek at how cute of a dad Dan is going to be.. see the picture below. Gosh, I am so dang lucky. Also, props to Liz on the cute baby pictured that we just couldn't get enough of.
